A-words: Advice to Myself

A-Words: Anxiety, Advice, Acceptance

A-Words: the Anxiety Series

Anxiety is a huge part of being a parent. We worry about our child’s health, safety, growth and development. Most of this we cannot control. We also worry about things we can control, or believe we can. There is a huge market of stuff for sale to parents so their child can have the latest and greatest and become the smartest/fastest/strongest child in their toddler class. Which of course means they will be the next President/ Nobel Prize Winner/ Cancer Curing Scientist.

Both Little Miss Adorable and Mr. Sensitive have some major medical issues. Little Miss Adorable has Prader-Willi Syndrome and Mr. Sensitive has Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy. Little Miss Adorable is medically stable and expected to continue to grow and develop, just at a much slower pace than her peers. Mr. Sensitive is medically stable – for now. The trajectory for Duchenne MD is slow physical development for early childhood, then decline in later childhood. Mr. Sensitive is expected to use a wheelchair full time by age 12.

I am not really anxious about either diagnosis. Yes, I wish neither child had them, and wish there was a cure for both. But there isn’t. I am worried about them ‘missing out.’ I want them to have friends. I want them to have rich experiences. I am absolutely aware that time is ticking by.

As parent my worry is that my child could miss out. My debate on City vs. Country Living (A Little Bit Country, a Little Bit Rock n Roll) is all about that. I want my kids to experience skyscrapers, sunsets, culture, tadpoles, art galleries, beach sand, samosas, puddles, and blowing leaves.

Note to Me: You can’t have it all. Just focus on what’s important to you. As a parent, as a partner, and as a human.

What’s important to me as a parent? My children. All of their messy, sticky sweetness.

What do I need to do? Not worry about my kids ‘missing out’ on something or the latest gizmo that’s supposed to make them smarter/stronger/the next president. I need to focus on enjoying them, playing with them, and laughing with them.

What’s important to me as a partner? That Hubby and I are together on our road trip of life.

What do I need to do? Be a better road trip companion and realize that dirty socks are not grounds for divorce. I am not perfect and neither is Hubby. I need to remember this as I chase perfection (whatever that is;)

What’s important to me as a human? Being my Self in the best way possible.

What do I need to do? Be kind to others, connect with others, and share with others. Give – to others and myself. Find time to be me, and invest in myself.

I said it before and I’ll say it again:

Hubby says the worst battles happen inside your own head. He is absolutely right about that one.

(That’s why I married him;)

Other Articles in A-Words: the Anxiety Series

Facebook and Canoes – What’s Important?

A-Words: Anxiety

Do you have any advice to share about Anxiety and Parenting?


About Angela

Super-powered, Special Ed teacher and special needs mama to FOUR (!) children with an assortment of special needs; including Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy and Prader Willi Syndrome. Our family features a heavy dose of good ol' ADHD). I blog about our halfpastnormal life.
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