Lesson Learned from Kindergarten


Recently, my son Mr. Sensitive had a birthday party for his kindergarten friends.  He was highly anxious.  Mr. Sensitive clung to me, buried his head in my side and thrashed himself around.  One of the boys said, “Here, you can sit beside me.”  When Mr. Sensitive sat down the boy leaned over and kissed my son’s arm.

This gesture means the world to me.  This four year-old demonstrated deep affection and complete acceptance of my son’s weirdness and bizarre behaviour.  This boy has seen my son fall countless times and helped him up.  They play together at school.

This boy has seen my son struggle to recognize letters and print.  This boy has seen the teaching assistants who help my son and he knows my son never takes the stairs at school, but rides the elevator instead.  He knows my son is different.

And this boy is ok with that.

During the party these boys played together on the floor, orchestrating toy cars and trucks.  One of the fathers called them Batman and Robin.  No one seemed concerned about the kiss.

But I wonder, what will happen next year or the year after?

Are boys still allowed to kiss each other?

I’m pretty sure not.  The social stigma of not doing ‘boy things’ takes over their lives.  I’m not sure who decides what ‘boy things’ and ‘girl things’ are.  If you know, I’d like to have a talk with them.

I’d like to tell them boys need to show affection for each other, and that boys have feelings too.

Why are we not ok with this?

For related posts check out the Kindergarten Chronicles.

Thanks to Heartfelt Balance Handmade Life Sit n Relax #63


About Angela

Super-powered, Special Ed teacher and special needs mama to FOUR (!) children with an assortment of special needs; including Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy and Prader Willi Syndrome. Our family features a heavy dose of good ol' ADHD). I blog about our halfpastnormal life.
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6 Responses to Lesson Learned from Kindergarten

  1. alsfm says:

    You are so right. Little boys love to … Love – each other. I wish it wouldn’t end either. Congrats to your son for finding a friend. xo

  2. Alyssa S. says:

    This year, my daughter had about four special needs children in her classroom and it touched my heart to see how kind and accepting all of the kids were to them.

    My son is very affectionate, though, I have to say, he’s tended to have more female playmates than male ones. He has some “friends” in gymnastics, but because he is a four year old surrounded by 7 and 8 year olds (he’s that ahead of the curve) who tend to show their affection by shoving each other around!

  3. My daughter’s second grade class had a little boy with severe cerbreal palsy. Every single one of the kids were so kind toward him! The parents worried all the time but for kids, he was just another kid. They were often curious, but never mean. I wonder what will happen as they move on toward adolescence but, so far, all of us adults have worried for nothing.

  4. dylanlincalista says:

    This is really sweet and heartwarming.

    I don’t quite understand who sets these standards…when my nephews cry, they’re always being told that ‘boys don’t cry’ and it always makes me wonder if they’ll have issues expressing themselves as they get older. I don’t know, really.

    Girls can hold hands, hug and kiss and there’s no malice in it but when little boys do it, some people will automatically have certain thoughts that are less than pleasant. Kids are innocent…it’s usually the adults who teach them how to discriminate.

    • Angela says:

      My father used to tell Mr.S to stop being a crybaby. That killed me b/c Mr.S really just needed someone to help him calm down – cuddles, kisses and redirection work best. Not trying to be whatever someone else wants him to be.

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