I should have…

Standard Canadian Apology:

I am sorry for obsessing/perseverating about this whole relocation thing on my blog.  Don’t worry, now that I’ve actually made the decision to go, set a timeline and firm to-do list (which I will spare you the details of) I hope this blog will get back to more stuff about the kids.  Or at least more funny stuff.  Here are some links in the meantime.

So I’ve been struggling to decide on whether to stay in the city with a permanent teaching job or quit my job, and relocate to small-town Ontario.  And we finally decided to do it.  It’s only taken about 10 years or so.  Permanent jobs, especially well-paying, permanent jobs are hard to leave.

So why go?

Because I’ve always wanted to, since I was about 10 years old.  Flash forward 20-plus years.

What it’s taken is endless questioning and attempts to predict the future, analysing, researching and feeling the need to financially support my family and keep some sort of stability.  But, there are a million reasons why this job and city life are right, and a million why they are wrong.

During our last trip to small-town Ontario I mentioned to an acquaintance how we struggled with the decision to leave the city and move there.

She said, “If this area is calling you, listen.  You’ll be glad you did.”  She went on to explain the things I knew: less pollution, more neighbours, great communities, awesome family resources, the fact that my earnings would go further, etc.  She added, “I can swim at my beaches.”  (The Greater Toronto Area is notorious for its polluted beaches – it’s actually novel for me to see people IN the water at the beach.)

I mentioned the decision to another acquaintance – actually, just a random stranger I’d just met.  (In case you haven’t noticed, I tend to overshare.)  Coincidently she is also a teacher and had relocated to the area a few years ago. (See, talking to strangers has its benefits.)  Her kids were the same age as mine.  Her words, “Do it.  My kids are growing up watching deer and coyotes from our front window.  We’re outdoors all the time.  There’s so much to do here for the kids.  You will get work.  Trust me.  You won’t regret it.”

I told Hubby, that’s it, we’re moving.  And he was supportive.

The next morning I woke up and looked at the rental listings.  And the enormity of the task hit me – why go through all the that work and stress – job searching, finding a place to rent, then finding something permanent, etc, etc.  How on earth can I do this?  How irresponsible is it of me to leave a well-paid job?  What about the kids?

All I did was open the newspaper and I was completely overwhelmed.

So I told Hubby we’re staying.  We’ll compromise, move to a smaller community and keep our jobs (which we don’t really care about anyway) and commute.  Hubby was supportive.

Flash forward to my conversation with my long-time friend and super-smart person.  She’s great with finances, real estate and all things business, so I explained the dilemma and ran the numbers by her.  Her response, “Dude, why wouldn’t you go?  You’ll be happy there.  Your family are there – you want your kids to see their grandparents and aunt.”

I told Hubby we’re going.  This time, we really are.  I know we are.  I feel it in my bones that this is ultimately the best decision for us.  There are a million reasons for us to go.  And I really can’t think of any to stay.

I asked my five year old, if he wants to live in a house near Granny and Grandpa.  His looked wistful and smiled.  He was silent.  I asked him again.  He whispered, “Yes.”

I should have asked him first.

Please see my related posts: Things that count and On Paper

 

Everything that can be counted does not necessarily count;

Everything that counts cannot necessarily be counted.


Albert Einstein

 Dear Readers: I always appreciate your words of advice and support. xo Angela

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About Angela

Super-powered, Special Ed teacher and special needs mama to FOUR (!) children with an assortment of special needs; including Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy and Prader Willi Syndrome. Our family features a heavy dose of good ol' ADHD). I blog about our halfpastnormal life.
This entry was posted in Big City to Small Town, Halfpastnormal is who we are and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to I should have…

  1. Stacey says:

    So happy for you that you’ve made your decision. I think it’s great what you’re doing and I look forward to reading all about it!

  2. dylanlincalista says:

    There’s obviously a reason why this place keeps calling out to you – perhaps it’s where you are meant to be 🙂

    I wish you peace and happiness and blessings of good health on your way.

    Cheers.

  3. Beautiful news! We never can predict everything and with that “I can handle it” line I like to tell myself that no matter what decision I make, and no matter how it turns out, I can handle it. If you later decide, for whatever reason, that you want to be closer to the city, your kids will have enjoyed all of the benefits of small-town life/nature/family etc. for the time that you were there. Are you moving to a cottage area? I keep seeing gorgeous beach pictures.

  4. It was nice to have stop by for a “visit”, I look forward to getting to know you through your writing in the blog community. Blessings for your new journey! Being a city gal, I must admit I do enjoying living in a smaller community, still live near the city limits but not like a metropolitan area. I hope you and your family find it as nice as we do. Patty

  5. Jennifer Butler Basile says:

    After years of hemming and hawing, my husband and I have recently decided to move our family, too. As you said, there are millions of reasons on both sides of the pro/con list. I’m glad you found what seems to work for you and your family. In the end, I think it’s more important to listen to your heart rather than the solid paycheck or pension plan. I know a lot of people would call me crazy for saying or thinking that – and some have – but my heart has to be happy.

    Bon voyage!

    • Angela says:

      Thank you do much. It’s great to hear about your decision too. We’re spending the week in the town we want to move into & my five year old is ready to stay. He wants to move into a house – now!

      (and truthfully so do I)

    • Angela says:

      Thank you do much. It’s great to hear about your decision too. We’re spending the week in the town we want to move into & my five year old is ready to stay. He wants to move into a house – now!

      (and truthfully so do I)

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