See Will.I.Am’s I like to Move it
Baby Dunk is his own person. I tell people he’s like a meatball with teeth. He’s a crazy baby who eats rocks, bites all of us and laughs manically while teeth marks dot your limbs. He spends his days following Little Miss Adorable around and getting into whatever she’s doing. They empty cupboards together, sitting back-to-back. She sorts stuff and he chews stuff. They make a great team.
Baby Dunk is a typically developing 11 month old. We think he’s learned from his older siblings. We’re not too sure what he’s learned, but he’s learned something. He has been pulling up into a stand for a couple months now. He grips the sofa with one hand and dances, flailing a diaper in the air. He likes his theme song, ‘I like to Dunk it’ (our take on Will.I.Am`s I like to Move it). He climbs our sofa and is frustrated that we won’t let him climb out our window.
I’d be afraid to let him loose in the neighborhood – I don’t think the neighbours could cope.
Baby Dunk crawls at lightning speed through any open door or baby gate. Speed crawling is his thing, and the removal of a diaper only encourages him to crawl faster. I think it makes him more aerodynamic. Buck naked, he’ll attempt to dive off change tables in a poop-covered quest for speed. I chase him with baby wipes while he laughs evilly.
He bites everyone, without discriminating. His siblings and our pets have a healthy fear/respect for him. During playtime he zooms across the floor, bites my shin and looks at me expectantly as I howl in pain. Red teeth marks dot my calf.
Mr. Sensitive went through a phase of asking how animals protect themselves. (This followed his interest in carnivores, herbivores and omnivores.) He would ask, “How do cicadas protect themselves?” He’d ask this for any living thing he thought of – sharks, trees, minnows, clover, turkey vultures, skunks, bears – you get the picture.
One day I asked Mr. Sensitive, “How does Baby Dunk protect himself?”
Without hesitating Mr. Sensitive answered – He bites and he stinks.
Do you have any advice for dealing with a biting, meatball, baby?