You may recall my post about my purse fetish/passion and the contents of my purse.
Little Miss Adorable is a skillful mimic. She is a tiny preschooler with a genetic quirk called Prader-Willi Syndrome. I’ve commented on how she also has the Princess Gene.
The Purse Gene is a whole other issue.
It’s clear I have the Purse Gene. Although I am painfully frugal in so many ways, Hubby does not even bat an eye (anymore) when I drop a wad of cash on a new purse. Just the names – Coach, Fossil, Chinese Laundry, Nine West, Michael Kors – make my toes curl in anticipation. So I have, ahem, quite a few handbags. It’s not my fault the outlets are within driving distance of me (ok, two hours away, but still).
I learned very early in motherhood that as long as my accessories – jacket, scarf, shoes and purse – look great, no one will notice my spit-stained shirt or the dark circles under my eyes.
All kinds of fashion don’ts that are the life of any mom are hidden by great accessories. No make-up and face washed with a baby wipe? Just put on some stylish sunglasses. Second day of dry shampooing your hair? Just put on a stylish hat. Total post-baby body and in that stage in the laundry cycle? Honey, with a good jacket, nice scarf, great purse and good pair of shoes you will go far. People will be so busy checking out your gorgeous purse they won’t even notice the dried baby food stuck on your pants.
My approach to fashion is functional survival. Camouflage, cover-up, redirect, and carry on. Little Miss Adorable has more glamour in her genome. She reads fashion magazines, watches City Line and comments on other people’s clothes and accessories. Just a trip into a shopping mall triggers an outburst of ‘Oooh, look at that… pretty!’ from the normally silent Little Miss Adorable.
Little Miss Adorable spends her days sorting her purses (note the plural), filling them with stuff and slinging them on her arms, calling out ‘Goodbye, I love you, have a good day!’
She will empty my purses and either fills my bags with her stuff and carries them around, or she takes my stuff and put it into her purses and carries them around. Either way my stuff goes missing. And she does get a good work out carrying around her armfuls of purses. In true Mommy-style, she will sling her purses on the back of her stroller and push her babies around. Add a Minnie Mouse cell phone to her ear and she’s going shopping.
Little Miss Adorable notices all the new bags I buy and when I rotate them through my wardrobe. (I told you I have a purse fetish.) She comments on them, ‘Ooh, bag!’ and demands to inspect it. I recently purchased a new laptop bag the she has been targeting. Ok, it’s a black fake leather Kenneth Cole bag, but it is really nice, with stylish zippers and study handles.
I know she’s looking at my laptop bag, thinking wow, if I get all this computer stuff out I can fill it with all my baby doll stuff.
I can just imagine arriving at work and opening my laptop bag to find – no laptop! – and a plethora of pink baby doll stuff instead.
The other day I was late for work because I was racing around trying to find most of the stuff that was in my purse just a few minutes ago. Bank card, driver’s licence, all my identification and all the kids’ medical stuff. And a zillion gift cards and vouchers. All gone.
My empty yellow leather Coach wallet was testament to Little Miss Adorable’s handiwork.
Already running late, I searched through Little Miss Adorable’s assorted bags, and found most of my stuff in her baby doll’s diaper bag hanging off her stroller. I guess she was planning on a shopping trip.
I dumped the former contents of my wallet in a large Ziploc bag. Clearly not stylish. At least I hope most of my stuff was there – really, who needs a driver’s licence anyway?
What can I say if I’m pulled over? Sorry officer, both my daughter and I have the Purse Gene.