Seeking applicants for the following position:
Parent to one (or more) children
Responsibilities include: proving 24-hour care for the next eighteen years; providing food, clothing, and shelter as needed for the next fifteen years; spending all kinds of money on stuff like toys, dolls and race tracks.
Must be self-sacrificing and able to pee while simultaneously doing three other things. Ability to talk children out of tantrums and housekeeping skills preferred.
Compensation includes: sticky hugs and kisses, brilliant smiles and being told ‘I love you’ and ‘You’re the best’. The advanced level of compensation includes being told ‘I hate you’ and ‘You’re the worst parent ever’ accompanied by frequent door slams.
Note: this position will include many sleepless nights for the next 20 years, so get used to it now.